HOOK

have to let go. There is usually a wobble. Maybe a fall. Maybe tears. And then, eventu- ally, they get back on. That moment is about so much more than learning to ride a bike. It is a li4le lesson in life: I can try something I don't know how to do. I can fall. I can feel frustrated. I can try again. I can figure this out. I want my children to carry that feeling with them. Not the feeling that Mom will always know what to do, or that someone will always step in before things become uncomfortable, but the feeling that they can find their way. That doesn't mean we stop paren3ng. Trus3ng our children is not the same as le5ng go com- pletely. Children s3ll need boundaries, guid- ance, and adults who are paying a4en3on. We step in when something is unsafe or when they genuinely need our help. But there is a difference between guiding a child and direct- ing every step they take. There is a difference between saying, I'm here if you need me, and saying, Here's what you need to do. As children get older, that difference be- comes even more important. When they are li4le, we make so many decisions for them. Then slowly, almost without realizing it, they begin making choices of their own. They have friendships we aren't part of. They have expe- riences we aren't there to witness. They make decisions we might not agree with. They begin developing opinions, interests, dreams, and ways of seeing the world that are uniquely theirs. And this is where we are asked to do something that can be very uncomfortable, we have to trust the founda3on we have built. There is a quote from Abraham-Hicks that I love: "Parents o$en think that they are here to guide the li4le ones, when, in reality, the li4le ones come forth with clarity to guide you." I love this idea because it turns paren3ng on its head a li4le. We spend so much 3me think- ing about what we need to teach our children, when some3mes our children are teaching us something too. They teach us about trust, being present, le5ng go, and accep3ng that there isn't always one right way to do some- thing. Our children are not here to create the life we imagined for them. They are here to discover their own. That can be hard for us. We have hopes. We have dreams for them. We know things they don't know yet. We have lived through our own mistakes and some- 3mes want to save them from having to learn the same lessons. But some3mes our mistakes are part of what taught us. Maybe our children deserve the chance to have some of those experiences for themselves. Not the big, dangerous ones, but the ordinary mistakes of growing up: the forgo4en homework, the friendship that did- n't work out, the audi3on they weren't HOOK 53 "Parent% often think that they are here to guide the "it#"e ones, when — in rea"ity — the "it#"e ones come fo!th with c"arity to guide you." Abraham-Hicks

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